Life is appreciated and it will go on.

It continues going on.  No matter what we are dealing with, the life we have is going on and is appreciated.  The good and the bad appreciated.  I know there are many others in my shoes that are dealing with things like Cancer or many other illnesses or personal issues.  I know that it is hard.  I know that we also have good things in our life that we have to HAVE TO focus on.  As I have said before, I am not a blogger...  I try...but it seems to be it is when I need to get negative thoughts out of my head.  For anyone that knows Matt and I we try to laugh at everything.  We try to make the most of what we have.  That is becuase we truly like being idiots together! :)  I love you Matty.

In sad times and scary times, we are still a great team.  I know that he will be here for me and Liam through our idiotic and my psychotic times too.  I love you Matty.

We have tried quite a few drugs since moving to Indianapolis that have not worked well for me.  While there is still quite a few chemo options for me, the hormonal drugs do not seem to be working anymore.  That leads me to prayer for them finding another marker to focus on SOON.  I have handled chemo well in the past and pray that they will last a long time with each regimin to give me as much time that is needed so I can be her on the earthly planet for a long time.  I know Heaven is waiting for me, but I thank God and plead to God to allow in his plan for me to be on this earth with the perfect life he has given me for a long LOOOng time.  We never know how much time we have left, but I know that I need to live it to the best that I can.  This doesn't mean I am going to be doing crazy things to try to "fit" them in because I am not dying now or soon.  I still have options.  Great options.  We just need more on the horizon and some good news soon!  It means that each day I will love harder, smile longer, create more fun, and just BE PRESENT in the life that I am bless with and that I love.

Mathew you are the perfect one for me.  You are my rock on Oregan bay and my rock that rolls with me when we tumble.  You are my perfect.  I love you.

Liam,  You are my sunshine and I am so truly blessed that God gave you to me and your daddy.  You are strong, funny, strong, charming, creative, strong, loving, and strong.  Just like your momma and daddy, you can get through anything!

We don't know what the future holds, but I vow that we will be living our simple little life to it's most wholesome. We just need to be present in all things and trust in God that he will handle this.